Thursday, January 7, 2010

Still Processing

I have a follow-up ultrasound this afternoon and am having such mixed emotions about it all. I know I'm ok, I know it'll be ok, and yet I'm still processing my grief. I'm still sad, knowing I'm ok doesn't make the sadness go away.

This ultrasound is to just make sure everything looks clear and ok in there, make sure there doesn't appear to be anything retained in the uterus, putting me at risk for infection. Getting the 'all clear' will be a very bittersweet relief. I certainly don't want to risk infection, and I really don't want to end up with a D&C after all, but I would much rather see a 12 week baby wiggling about than an empty uterus. I know it's not to be, but it's what I'd rather see.

I'm still processing it all, still trying to regain my strength after losing quite a bit of blood, and still trying to return to our pre-vacation homeschooling schedule. This week, it's all about babysteps as it only took me 'till about Monday afternoon to realize that I wasn't going to be able to jump back in quite as fast I as was intending to...
All in good time.



5 Comments:

Blogger Redeemed1 said...

I'm still praying for you. Take your time, take care of yourself.

January 7, 2010 at 1:51 PM  
Blogger Amy - AKA - TigerMommie said...

Sorry you have to go through this......
Even though you 'trust' in things being as they should, whatever the outcome may be, it's not always easy.......
Sending lots of blessings your way!...

Found your blog on MckMama's page....following you now....

January 8, 2010 at 7:17 AM  
Blogger Traci said...

Oh my dear sweet friend. I'm here if you need anything, anything at all.
As always, you are in my thoughts and prayers.
((((((BIG HUG))))))

January 8, 2010 at 9:06 AM  
Blogger Christy said...

Even though we've never met, I feel like you know you just a bit from your blog. We also share a common love for God and our children (and we have big families!) I've been thinking about you through this tough time and was sad to hear of your news. I'm praying for you to have strength, rest, and peace through the upcoming days and weeks.

January 10, 2010 at 3:35 PM  
Blogger Pam, mom, honey, said...

i am so sorry you had to have the ultrasound. it is like one more blow

January 13, 2010 at 7:03 AM  

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